Traveling in my Mind

Others often see me and think I live in a Tunnel of Love with a mob boss witness side.

I’ve always been a planner. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that I’ve always been a dreamer. My mind is constantly concocting elaborate fantasies about all the things I really want to — or even just think in passing would be amazing to — do with my life.

I fantasize about having a beautiful lake home. I fantasize about winning a Tony. I fantasize about my kids getting married and having kids. I fantasize about being on Orange is the New Black. I fantasize about traveling and working abroad. I fantasize about quitting jobs dramatically and telling off bosses and stupid coworkers.

I am very rarely, if ever, thinking about tonight or tomorrow, and if I do I have concocted a perfect image of how it should go. Often leaving me sad because it wasn’t “perfect.” I then have a need to “fix it;” that perfect night that really didn’t go wrong. I cling to the situation like peanut butter on toast. I’ll either seem like I’m emotionally detached or so overly emotional you’ll wonder if I’ll fill the room with tears of needless emotions. I’m difficult. In a flip of finger, it turns to a desire to nurture and give all that I have to improve the world I live in, I will exhaust myself in the quest to leave things a little better than I found them. Love is the most powerful force in the universe—and I, at my best, is the most skillful wielder of that magical force, that truly drives me, you will ever find.

I am all of these things wrapped in the perfect package called “Rebecca!”

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